I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
