I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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