forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
