i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
