and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
