he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
