i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize