My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
