the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
