ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize