Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
a search helicopter?!
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
