If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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