..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We are two peas in an std pod
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
