Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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