I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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