Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize