saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I deserve this hangover.
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