yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
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