How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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