My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
