im so drunk with asians
where?
always
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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