You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
