ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
