Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
