I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
