I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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