I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
