Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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