what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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