It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
