New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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