what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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