Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
