He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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