Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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