You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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