I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
