Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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