my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
