I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
