I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
