At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
