And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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