It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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