i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
