Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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