I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
