So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
