All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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