so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
