Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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