Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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