uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
