just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Randomize
