is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Your cock deserves a montage
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
