dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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