how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
