she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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