I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
