Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
