That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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