I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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