my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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