Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
